Let’s talk about self love.
You might be rolling your eyes right now and wanting to click away, but please bear with me for a few minutes.
True self love does not mean that you have to look in the mirror every day and think you’re beautiful and amazing and perfect. It is not the same thing as vanity or arrogance. When you love yourself, it doesn’t mean you’ll never again have a moment of doubt about your goals, dreams, looks, talents or confidence. Doubts are natural, but when you love yourself, you can let go of those doubts much more quickly and easily. Self love isn’t surface level. Although it can include your looks, it goes so much deeper than that.
True self love is:
- Knowing that you’re worthy of good things in life.
- Taking the time to heal yourself when you’re struggling.
- Being kind to and patient with yourself, even when you’ve failed.
- Knowing that there’s no shame in NOT being okay sometimes.
- Valuing yourself enough to ask for help when you need it.
- Understanding that your weight, height, ethnicity, hair or lack of hair, skin condition, cellulite, stretch marks, or any other part of your appearance, does not determine your worth.
- Believing that mental illness does not make you less lovable.
- Realizing that you can wear whatever the hell you want without the need to explain yourself.
- Taking care of your body, not punishing it.
- Knowing that outside validation isn’t necessary for happiness.
- Treating yourself to a day of sitting around in your pajamas and eating pizza without feeling guilty.
- Remembering that you bring something to this world that nobody else can.
That, my friend, is self love.
Love yourself like your life depends on it.
Author Kamal Ravikant wrote a short, simple book about by that title. Your life truly does depend on it. If you spend all of your days criticizing yourself and noticing your “flaws” you’ll never be happy. In fact you’ll experience some extreme lows. When self hate has failed you over and over again, it’s time to try something different. It’s time to try self love.
Give yourself the love you deserve, and start today. Not when you lose (or gain) 20 pounds, not when you get that dream job, not when you start dating someone who appreciates you. Now.
The sooner you learn to love yourself intensely, you’ll understand that is no more room in your life for self hate, doubt, judgment, and shame. When you give up what’s been weighing you down, you will rise above so many of your obstacles. You will do things that you never dreamed were possible.
Love yourself and all is coming.